Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Well last night was better!
Grace has been having temper tantrums...I think! So this makes getting to bed a little harder. It's also hard because she is always such a good baby...

Once she was out, she was out for the count! I got some sleep and my eyes are doing better. I am still tired but here's to hoping I'll get some sleep tonight too!

The injections are going as well as can be expected. I spoke to Shared Solutions (Copaxone company) yesterday and my symptoms are normal. It does aggravate me because I have "sore spots" all over. When I pick Grace up and she rest on my hip it hurts my "love handles". When she grabs my arms well that's tender too. So that it a little be annoying but I think the meds are doing what they are supposed to do so I guess the saying "No pain, no gain" is really true!

Today's is Chase's birthday so we will be going to visit and sing Happy Birthday!

Monday, September 28, 2009


It's now been 2 nights without sleep and I am tired.
I am anticipating going back to work. I kinda just want to be back at work and be in our new routine. Have it done and over with...you know!

Grace is very sensitive to how I feel and she didn't sleep last night either. I think she somehow knows that big changes are coming.

Being this tired is not good for me. Neither is the anticipation!
The nerve and my right eye is very sore. Has been for the last 2 days. My left eye is weird too! When I look to the left and down it's like someone is flashing a red light in my eye. This has happened before and a good nights sleep tends to make it better.

Maybe tonight's the night!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

So busy

Wow...I've been so busy! Sorry it's been a while and today I only have a few minutes but I'll take it!

Grace has been sick with a cold and I haven't been getting much sleep but I am still doing better then I was most of the summer. I only have one week left before I return to work and I am getting anxious to get back and settle in to the new routine. Anticipation sucks!

The weather is starting to cool and it makes such a difference for me. Yesterday I went to the Scrap Fair and did lost of walking. I had Grace with me too. What a busy day! I then headed over to the DI and still had energy to go do some groceries! WOW!

I hear my baby callin'...'til next time!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Eye is better!

The good news I've been waiting for! Yesterday I had a follow up with Dr. Costello re: my vision.

She was very pleased to see the progress I've made and did tell me that it can take up to a year to get everything back to normal.

I am not longer colour blind in the left eye!!!

She also explained that ON (optical neuritis) is not likely to happen again however sometimes it does. The explanation for what happened goes like this.

Remember when I told you the damage that occurs in MS patients is in the Myelin and that it surrounds the nerves. Well what happens in ON is that the Myelin gets damaged and causes the "electrical short" that brings the information to my brain.

Having my vision back is obviously telling me that the Myelin was repaired. In the early stages of MS it can repair itself. Eventually what happens is the body gets older and then simply can't keep up with the demands of repair which then leads to more serious cases of MS. The Copaxone has been proven to lengthen a patients life and even help prevent the course of MS to worsen over time.

All clear with my left eye!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Answer 4

Well some of you were right and some of you were wrong!
The correct answer is yes!

There are actually races that have never had a confirmed case of MS and with that they are known as immune races.

The 4 races are the Eskimos, the Gypsies, the Yakuts in Siberia and the Bantu in Africa.

Good work you guys!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Spousal abuse!

Tell me, what couple doesn't have days were they would like to inflict pain on their spouse?
Well Mark finally got his chance last night...Giving me an injection that is!

He did good! So good that I didn't even feel the needle go in! Good job Mark..you're hired for tonight again ;)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Not bad at all

The last two injections have gone well. Not too much pain, no bruising and no welts!
I have been feeling very good and little or no fatigue for the most part. I may finally see the end of this relapse...maybe!

With all the anxiety that I faced the few days prior to meeting with the nurse I really was starting to doubt my choice to start treatment. I am now almost a week with treatment and like I said, I am feeling almost normal again! I am back to trusting my gut and know that I chose the right DMT (Disease Modifying Treatment).

One thing that I have noticed the last 4 times after my injections has been a strange sensation up my spine, in my shoulders and the back of my skull. It takes about 1 hour. I feel absolutely normal and WHAM! I get this heavy, almost numb feeling going up my spine to my head. I guess that's the Copaxone's way of saying "to the rescue"!

Friday, September 18, 2009


Well I have given myself 3 injections to date and I feel pretty good.

Since this is a daily injection I have to rotate my injection area every day. 7 days...7 sites...you get it right!
With the nurse I got a love handle and other then the burning and "mosquito bite" it was easy!

Day 2, I decided to get my thigh. OWWWWWW
It literally brought tears to my eyes. It took about 30 minutes for the pain to go away and that was with an ice pack and trying to watch TV to focus on something else...It still hurt on day 3 so I decided to do my belly instead of the other side.. Can't wait for tonight to do that one.. Ha Ha..

Day 3 was last night and like I said I did the belly. Well that didn't go that well either!
I tried to poke and the stupid needle wouldn't go in.."Abs of steal ;)" so I had to pull it out and try again. Then it went in..with difficulty but at least it was in but that's not enough I had to bleed after..And today.. I have a bruise.

Let's hope this just needs practice!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Meeting the nurse

Today is another 2 for one day! What can I say, I've had lots to tell you!

As I mentioned yesterday, last night I met with the Copaxone nurse.

Yesterday was by far the worst day I have ever had. Thank you Mark for being there. It really helped. Donna, thanks for taking Grace, I was in no frame of mind to take care of her.

I have never cried that much in my life. I was very sleep deprived, nervous and scared. In a way the reality hit home yesterday. I was not in denial about having MS but having to succumb to an injection daily made it real and I, like anyone else, would prefer to be healthy and not have that worry.

After my meeting with Pam I felt much better and today so far is a great day.

For the first time in my life I have played with a loaded syringe and "had fun"! I gave myself the first injection last night in my "love handle". I thought putting it in would hurt but it didn't! The kicker was about 3 minutes later when it started to burn! OWCH! ICE PACK!

The burn last about 20 minutes and then you forget about it. I did have a reaction to the injection which is normal. My reaction is what looks like a mosquito bite. Pink and that "bite" bump. It didn't hurt but if I touched it, it got itchy.

All in all, it was easy and I am almost looking forward to tonight!

26 today

No I'm not talking about the weather! By the way, it's supposed to be 34C outside today so I'll be staying in my basement with the AC cranked!

Today I turned 26. Oh my how things can change in one year!
This time last year I was in love with my job and my husband. My only cares - other then being pregnant - were when and where are we going for lunch and well.. I think that was it!

Now a year later I am a mother and a wife. My worries now are what will we make for dinner, how will Grace react to daycare, I have MS and must remember to take my shots at bedtime. I must share my time in more ways then I ever imagined. I still love my life but it's just become more complex.

We all need to remember to make time for the important things in life. So today stop and give a hug to that special person, maybe help someone who needs a hand or even just sit and take a break for your own sanity!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Answer 3

The first reported case of MS was in 1835 by a gentleman named...Jean Cruveilhier!
Yup...he was French! Good work to those who guessed right!

He was a professor of pathological anatomy in the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Paris.
During routine autopsies he observed some "brown patches" in the nervous system and described them to the medical community.

This info I found in the book called Multiple Sclerosis by Shelley Ross. It's a great read if you are interested!

Must be Tuesday...

If you know me, you know that I loathe Tuesday. For me is it by far the worst day of the week. Always has been and has not yet changed!

This past weekend was a hard one. Not for my health but for Grace. Mark and I were at her mercy. She had "the runs". First time in almost a year that she has been ill. Yuck! She is better today but I didn't get much sleep last night.

The nurse from Copaxone finally called last night to come over and teach Mark and I how to do the injections and all the other things. She will be coming tonight. I was really looking forward to starting the meds but after sleeping on and off last night - with kicking Grace in bed with me - I am not so sure. I'm nervous and scared. Last time I felt like this it was the day I went to the hospital to get induced and that...other then Grace coming out... was not a good experience for me.

I am fine to look at today but if I so much as think about MS or the fact that I couldn't function enough that I asked for help with Grace for the day I can't help but cry. I've felt really good the last 4 days with no symptoms but today I am stiff and sore. I have a great headache and am dizzy.

We'll see what tomorrow brings... I will have had my first injection and hopefully I will get some rest not to mention I'll be another day older. (Officially on paper that is!)

Friday, September 11, 2009

A day from H...

With only a few weeks left of mat. leave I have been trying to make an effort and go out as much as possible.
Have you ever heard the saying "Even the best laid plans...". Well that's my last 2 days!

Yesterday I was ready to go and Grace decided it was a "nap" day. I tried to put her down and I wasn't getting anywhere. Finally she fell a sleep only to wake up a few minutes later thinking she slept for hours. CRANKY...We didn't go anywhere.

Today is another story. I was not ready but when I started getting ready it seemed everything was working against me. I did not get a great nights rest so I am feeling a little bit fatigued. To top it off Grace isn't feeling super. She did #1 on my floor, spilled food all over the place, I needed to get bottles ready for the road but needed to do the dishes first.. you see where I'm going here!

The good news... YES there is good news here! ...is that the box from Copaxone/Shared Solution finally arrived. Wow.. there is so much stuff! I got a back pack, a USB stick, key chain (Which I was in desperate need of..Grace lost my keys and ring..) along with lots of other stuff related to my injections. I also got information from my HR concerning what my options are if I am not well and must go on leave or take time off from work.

All in all I am sure the day will get better!
I am off to sneak a bite to eat before my monster wakes up!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Am I crazy...you decide

Well today is a big day for me. Mark too!
We are thinking Christmas all day! Yup..you read that right!
We are off to have our first Christmas Wishlist meeting.

So... Am I crazy?

Here's the deal. Every year we interview the homeless from the DI and post their small story and 1 item that they would like to receive for X-mas on the web. We then send out an invite to the general population asking them to sponsor someone. We have been doing this for...Well...This will be #4! We love it and it is now our X-mas tradition. Soon Grace will be old enough to join us!

So for the last week we have been getting ready for it! Posters, check lists, spreadsheets...you name it! And believe it or not, it's gotten so big and so well known that Mark has been getting request to help since mid-August! Good work you guys! Keep it going!

So...am I still crazy?!?!

This morning again it's cool in the house. I love it and my MS is still at bay. Like every year at this time and RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) is acting up but that I can live with!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

It's cold!

Hey! It's cold and I like it! I have NO SYMPTOMS today!
I love the cold so much so that I am packing Grace up and we are going out. Again! Second day in a row!
I'm starting to think that I should have been off for the winter and not the summer!

I am still waiting for my parcel to call the nurse.
I've been told that the parcel includes a lock box with a 1 key for the fridge so when you guys come over to visit you can't steel my needles...Hmm.. it seemed strange to me too but at least it will keep them away from Gracie pooh!
It also has a traveling case and an ice pack. A DVD... and other things that I am curious to see!

What I am looking forward to is the book that comes along with it all. It is to track the symptoms and dates and times that certain things happen. This will be very useful because every doctor visit these are the first questions:

How are you feeling today?
What symptoms have you had lately?
Oh that's nice what day was that?
And for how long?
Was it the day on at night?
And did you take any medications that day?

See where I'm going!

Well...I'm off to pack and get out!
Write soon!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

A good night sleep

Last night was a good nights sleep! What amazing things come out of that!
I have had more energy today then I have had in weeks.

I've already managed to clean, make breakfast and contemplate going out...Now if only Grace would nap so I could shower...

My MS symptoms are pretty good today. Other then being in pain getting out of bed I am feeling very good!

So we are now at 6:30 pm and well Grace finally had a nap. Problem was..so did I!
We got dressed and headed out anyway. Getting out keep me sane!

Tomorrow I am expecting a parcel from Shared Solutions. This will have everything I need to get my injections started. Once I get that I am to call the nurse and have her come to the house and meet us. Let's see if it comes!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Random thoughts

I can honestly say I did not sleep a wink last night. I have no idea why.
Did you get any sleep?

Even Mark and Grace couldn't sleep. So what to do at a time like that?
Think...Think stupid things...Silly things...Weird things...

So here's what I thought of:
Why are my neighbours constantly doing construction at night?
Are they building something no one should know about...We watched War of the Worlds before bed!
I wonder if Grace has a tooth coming?
The park was fun today, we should do that more often.
Will I ever find a pain killer that will work for me?
What will we do tomorrow?
Hmmm.. that scrapbook page is missing something.
And always...MS...
When will the nurse come?
Will I have a reaction to the shot?
Will I be OK going back to work.
What does Mark really think about it...

So there you go.. what are you thinking about lately!
Off to the docs to find new pain meds!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Answer 2

And the winners are...
Life expectancy without meds are reduced to that of a 2 pack a day smoker!

Congrats to those who got it and I'll post a new question later!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Alot to swallow...poke

I was one of those kids that became a teen and still couldn't swallow any pills. Much to the frustration of my mom I finally swallowed a Smartie and was told..."If you can swallow that you can swallow your pills!". And oddly enough that was the end of it!

I still dislike it and that may be the reason I tend to avoid taking anything.

Life changes and now I feel like an old person or a Aids patient. You know, they have those cocktails of pills that they must take...

Hear me out..
In the morning if I am really in pain I take:
- 2 pain killers
With my breakfast:
- 4 Vitamin D3
At bed time:
-1 or 2 muscle relaxant (for the muscle spasticity)
-1 birth control pill
-1 dose of Phosphorous (homeopathy)
-1 dose of MS remedy (homeopathy)

And to top it all off...soon I can add the injection of Copaxone.

Like I said...a whole lot to swallow and then a poke to end the day!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

1 month to go...

It's been a few busy days but I'm back!
Thank you for the flowers...you know who you are and they are beautiful!

I've had more testing done on my eyes and they are getting better! I've also met with Dr. Costello at the MS Clinic. I love her! The ball has been put in motion and within a few days I should have the nurse visit our house and show me how to use the Autoject! I also met a new nurse at the clinic. Her name is Lori and she is fantastic!

So, Grace will be 11 months in a few days and that means I have 1 month before my return to work. Lots of women have left work for a year of mat. leave. Most of them return a slightly different person because they are now a mother but not many return being an entirely different person. I say this because I am not only now a mother but my entire life has changed. I don't even know what every tomorrow may have in store for me.

I am excited, happy, worried and nervous just to name a few!
I have always taken pride in my work. I love it and have always committed to it 110%.

Excitement comes from finally heading back to work. Work is such a big part of all of our lives. We are after all at work more then we are at home with our families if you don't count sleep!

Happy comes from having regular adult conversations again. Seeing faces that I've missed over the past year. Doing what i am good at and and love to do!

Worried. Well that one is a little bit confusing! I am worried about leaving Grace in someone else hand. She will still be my daughter but someone else will be "raising" her. You know what I mean don't you? I am also worried because I do not know if I will be able to function at work. I have worked long and hard and my peers know that I am good at what I do. They have come to know that they can depend on me and trust my judgement. So the worry comes from knowing that some days they may not be able to depend on me. I am scared that I am not able to work like I used to.

Nervous is also aimed at Grace and leaving her behind. I am nervous to see what I am coming back to on my desk. I am nervous that I've lost what I had and that I will have to work real hard to get back to the knowledge base I used to have.

We all change and I am no different. I simply became a very different person this past year. I am no longer the free spirit I was. I now have even bigger responsibilities then I thought I would come back with. I must learn to take everyday on at a time. I must learn to trust my instinct and listen to what my body is telling me. Luckily I am coming back to a great team of people who care for me and I trust will understand my situation.

I guess I can now begin the countdown...