Thursday, December 31, 2009

Bring it 2010

I am, like a lot of people happy to see the end of 2009 and the start of 2010.

2009 was not all bad but I have a very good feeling about the new year.
I think good things will happen all round!

This past year was filled with the good, the bad and simply the weirdest stuff ever!

The bad of course was mostly geared around MS for me but so was the good.

Without this year I would not have learned that there are things that are simply not worth any of my energy or yours for that matter! For the most part I don't focus on the negative and bad things that surround me. I let way more things roll of my back as they say.

I listen to my body way more then I ever did. I think we all need to focus on this one!

I don't take health for granted anymore. It has never been "fun" to be ill but now I realise there are serious repercussions if you don't take care of #1 first!

My resolutions for the new year...I haven't given it much thought but...

First - watch my bad words...Grace is trying very hard to repeat everything we say!
Second - read, read and read some more! All the new findings in MS means I need to be aware and be my own research guru!
And third - Focus on the happy things in life. That is all that I think is truly important.

Do what makes you happy...go into the new year with that!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

One test down!

I have not been excited and nervous like I was for my ultrasound yesterday in a very long time!

It did in fact take an hour and was not what I expected at all!

Genie (my technician) took images of my neck on both sides but the way it works is like this...
I had to take deep breaths as well as push like I was trying to ... poo!
The reason for this is that it would usually expand the veins and let blood flow faster.

The vein on the right side of my neck is completely collapsed from the base line where my collar bones starts all the way up to the base of my ear. Right below my ear they could actually see the blood pooling, turning around and going back up to the brain. I pushed like I was in labour - ready to passed out and still nothing.

The left side is also collapsed but this one does sneak some blood through but only with deep breaths and minor pushing.

They also did an ultrasound on my eyes. The weirdest feeling ever!
Think about it...warm jelly on the outside of your eye, a hard probe pushing into your eye and hearing a strange knocking...Just didn't feel right!
This was done to also see if the veins leading to the back of the eye were functioning. Mine Are!

This all indicates the same findings that Dr. Zamboni discovered!

What happens now?
The way that Dr. Steed explained it is this...
The research in Canada and worldwide really is still so new that having test subjects come in and letting the technicians practice is terrific.
They are following a strict protocol on what they are looking for. In me and many others that they have tested they found what they were looking for. The problem now is that they are not sure what to do with the information.

Dr. Steed is working closely with the MS clinic and told me that at this time he doesn't recommend evasive procedures as they are simply not sure of the implications as well as the safety and dangers. He did explain all of this to me and it does make sense.

He believes that with all the research being done that he believes that in a year they will be ready to do something with the information gathered and that from there they will be doing the procedure to expand the arteries and veins.

Dr. Steed is looking for more test subjects both MS patients and normal healthy people to help build his research. If you are interested you can contact him at Sunridge Diagnostics. 403-568-7676

Monday, December 21, 2009

Liberation treatment

I have been wanting to write about this for so long.
I think I have a bit of time so let's do it!

Dr. Zamboni in Italy made the discovery that MS may not be an auto immune disease after all.
After much research he found that the MS brain had very high iron deposits. Digging deeper he found that the blood was also not draining properly from the brain.

This prompted him to perform MRI and ultrasound testing on the veins and arteries.

The reason for his curiosity was that his wife had been diagnosed and his specialty was neurology. he wanted to become a surgeon but he himself has a neurological problem that has left him with minimal mobility in his hands.

Any who, his discovery was all in the jugular artery.
With many test subjects he found that all MS patients had blocked arteries in the neck.

the ultrasounds show that the blood does in fact try to flow back to the heart but either can't get by or only a small amount does which is the reasoning for the high iron deposits. These deposits are because the blood that typically leaves your brain goes to your kidney's to get cleaned up and then back to the heart.

This is what I'll be getting looked at tomorrow!

We've had it!

Grace and I have had it with each other!..I think!
Mark worked all weekend and is on hour 12 as I write.
That means I have been alone with Grace this whole time - while she's been ill.
It makes me long for a few hours by my self!

I am very tired however I can't sleep. I am so excited for the ultrasound tomorrow!

I'm going to stop here are do an other post talking about the Liberation treatment...

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sleep...not so much

Grace has had a hard week which in turn means I've had a hard week.

Tuesday we had the faking sick day.
Thursday she came home with what we were sure was pink eye.
Friday I stayed home in case it was pink wasn't and she was fine.
Friday evening..Well we had a bit of fever, a swollen eye, a bit of sleep, a bit of well...everything really.
Saturday was a cry and complain and whimper all day long. The evening was filled with more fever, chills, blue hands, lips and feet not to mention the 8 bottles of milk and no food in over 3 days.

We are now Sunday morning, I have not had a good night sleep in 4 nights and I am feeling spent.
I think tonight will be a better night! Maybe positive thinking will get me somewhere!

This week I have my ultrasound and am quite looking forward to it!
It should take at least 1 hour and this will indicate if my jugular arteries are plugged, have a kink or are simply not draining the blood properly from my brain.

Does it excite you like it does me?

Monday, December 14, 2009


Today I booked my research ultrasound with Dr. Steed.

I must say Thank you to Steve for letting me know that Dr. Steed was starting his own research on MS and the possible blocked jugular arteries.

I promise to take the time this week and explain the 2 new treatments that you may have heard about. I have been looking up both for several month. Long before they hit mainstream and you will see it is very fascinating!

On the 22nd of December I will go for this ultrasound. It takes about an hour and what they will be looking for are the areas that seem to be blocked in all MS patients but not in a healthy person.

I'll keep you posted!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Jingle bells...

Today the low for Calgary is to be -54C with wind chill. Can you say COLD!
I really don't mind the cold or the snow. I hate the wind!

I think we have all started thinking about Christmas and well we have already started celebrating!

We had a small party last night. Grace has opened quite a few gifts but she absolutely loves her toboggan! She sits in it and waits patiently until one of us pulls her around the house! Too cute!

Today Grace has her "Kids of the DI" party. I really enjoy kid parties because they are just too cute! They love to just have fun and take it all in! I think that this is the most important thing we loose when we become adults. It's good to be a kid and have no other pressing matter then Play Play Play!

Last night we watched the movie "Up" finally!

This is the best movie I have watched in a very long time...Go rent it...cuddle up on the sofa with a blanket and hot chocolate and enjoy!

Stay warm!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

This Tuesday will be a good day

Well, if it's not one thing it;s another right!
Being busy keeps me well and I know that with MS you should relax and get as much rest as possible but I have proven things wrong before!

We had a great Snow Blizzard this passed weekend and that was...lovely!

Today, after being in the car for 1 1/2 hours trying to get to work I finally made it only to have to leave a few minutes later to go see Dr. Costello and get my 6 month MRI.

I will be a great day... I have Tuesday's but I am saying it will be a good day!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I think I'm busy!

I guess you can all tell when I start to get either very busy or ill. That's typically when I don't write!

In the next 10 days I have lots to this!

Today I had an eye exam which I need to do every 3 months for 2 years because of the Optic Neuritis.
Friday I have chiro in the morning and dentist in the afternoon.
Tuesday I have a meeting with Dr. Costello (my neurologist) and then a 2 hour MRI. This one will be to monitor the lesions on my brain.
Friday I have chiro again.
Saturday I have an other 2 hour MRI and this one is the study that Dr. Costello is leading.

On top of all this I have a few Christmas events that I am either planning or attending!

All of this and it doesn't even include my work, being with my family, working on the Christmas WishList ( ) for the DI and well just getting groceries!

I will do my best to write within the next few days to explain the 2 new treatments available for MS.

Oh... I almost forgot...I still need to finish my shopping for all the Christmas gifts!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Anger and relief

As promised, today I am on anguish and relief.

A Cure. Anyone in their right mind would be happy right! Well I'm not really in my right mind...Or am I!?

I'll start with anger so we can finish on a good note!

It makes me angry because doctors seem to be arrogant. If they are not the one that made the discovery they tend to not believe. They want to do the research themselves. Granted, they could find things missed or mistakes but obviously human testing has been done.
Wheelchair bound people are now walking thanks to the research of a doctor who has put his heart and soul into a research not only for the interest but for his personal gain.

The way I see it, Dr. Zamboni was brave enough to go against the big companies and make a very bold statement and also using his own wife as a Guinea pig.

If there is anyway that this treatment can and could help people who are sick, there shouldn't be a waiting period.
But of course, this decision comes from people who are NOT ill.

I could take years for the treatment to be recognised and then how will they decide who gets it first?

My relief
I know that I will get to see my grand kids one day. I will be able to one day have a sense of normalcy again.

There are doctors that are willing to perform the surgery now. Today. All I need to do is pay to get the scans. Pay to find a doctor. Pay to have the surgery. And I am OK with this. This makes me happy. I tell myself, these doctors...they understand.

My relief is that now there is something in my grasp. I can fund raise to get the funds to get my Liberty. I can sleep at night knowing that I am not going to depend on an injection that I don't believe is working as well as it should be. I can grow old and look forward to getting something else that may or may not be worse then the things MS can do but at least I've concurred one thing and that makes other things seems not so bad!

Strange eh..I told you, my's in strange places lately!

Tomorrow I'll explain in easy words what this operation does and what it is!

Monday, November 23, 2009


Can surgeries cause a relapse?
Some said yes and others weren't sure.

Researchers have not yet been able to give a clear answer as operations and Anesthesia go hand in hand. They are not sure how to distinguish the effects from one or the other.

That being said it is fairly common for a surgery to be followed by a new attack within one or two weeks.

The cause is thought to be stress on the immune system but emotional stress may play a role there too!

Emotions = Confusion

I am so overwhelmed by information, emotions and support.

I do appreciate everyone looking out for me and being there. Thank you!
Don't stop either! I do take the time to read anything I get and if I already seen it it's good to know I did!

I'm going to take this week and go through all my emotions or at least try!

If you've taken the time to watch the W5 news cast then you are certainly happy with the news of a CURE for MS.

Starting from the first emotions and thoughts...I was very happy to watch the report but I had a strange emotion when I heard it was going to be on TV. Why you ask?...Well I guess that one is easily answered! I have been reading about this for months and my thoughts were..Ha! I already knew about this before it was made public!

I felt like an insider with information that other were finally learning about.

An other thought that hit me was an odd one but here it goes!
Pharmaceutical companies are behind everything because they are the ones to have money and they fund research. I had a good chat with Mark and Donna about this too. I / we have a funny feeling this research was "leaked" by accident on purpose to get public support prior to going public. Now that it's out and the public have been educated of the treatment, the pharmaceutical companies can't ax the research. You see were I'm going here!

Tomorrow...I'll write about anger and relief.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The liberation treatment... a CURE!

So many things have happened in the last few days.

First I would like to say thanks to Don. Without you I would have never seen the W5 special. Thanks to Doris for calling me and telling me too!

I did mean to write and let you know about the coverage but I was ill with a bad stomach flu on Thursday and am only starting to feel better now.

For those who did miss the coverage, it was about the research that I wrote about a few weeks ago with the doctor from Italy! His research has made it to the surface, is being recognised and they have formally announced a CURE!

I have many emotions and it may take me a few days of writing to express it all.

For now, I will simply leave you with the link to the coverage and then I will ramble on tomorrow!

Enjoy.. I sure did.
I never thought something medical would bring me to tears!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Yuck and itch

What a rough last few days!
I have been feeling better then last week but listen to this.. It would make anyone start being ill!

It was Tuesday night, I stayed up a little bit later then I usually do. I looked at the clock and it was 10pm. I looked at Mark and said I'm done, I'm going to bed...Cue the crying baby on the monitor. I rolled my eyes and we were debating letting her cry herself back to sleep. She usually falls back to sleep in a few minutes.

So I decided to give her a minute or two. I headed up the stairs and then I smelled something not so good. Wondering what it was I followed my nose to Gracie's bedroom door...I decided to open the door...WOW...She was ill...very ill..

I have never seem so much vomit as I did that night.

I decided to stay home the next day and Mark went to bed after helping clean up the first time. Well I stayed up pretty much the whole night and did 3 loads of clothes in the washer between the little bits of sleep Grace would get. The washing.. that was dirty blankets from every time Grace would wake up...

Then my injection site...Today it is swollen to the size of my hand. It's itchy like crazy and hot.

All in all, we are all doing better but it makes for a crazy week...and it's not even Friday yet!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Do you remember?

I think I may be going senile...

I've read that one of the side effects of MS is forgetfulness.
I thought that maybe I had a good 20 years before I would start forgetting things and losing it!

Lately I have been having a hard time remembering small trivial things. This, I must admit scares me. I am only 26 and I can't remember if I went to pee or not. It's the first time in my MS diagnosis that I have had something scare me.

Mark finally told me last night that he is noticing me getting worse and worse. It's the short term memory that seems to be affected. I've been debating calling Dr. Costello (Neurologist) and having her check up on me.

That's it for today...

Friday, November 13, 2009

The good, the bad and the maybe?

Bad news...
Grace hasn't been sleeping thru the night for almost 2 weeks. A cold and teeth are keeping her up.

Good news...
I saw Dr. Kale (chiro) on Wednesday and my MS adjustment from last week stuck and this is a very good sign!

Grace slept last night!

We have a busy weekend. We have a table at a community garage sale. Let's get rid of the junk!
I have been sleep deprived and fatigued.
I'm hoping to have the energy to last Saturday!

Goal for the weekend, let go of "those" items that only take up space.
Cleaning up clutter has proven to extend your life!


The question this week was "Fever treatment and a heat box, is this a good treatment"

Now days we know that any heat is not good for MS patients but in the 1930's is was believed that heat was beneficial. Doctors actually prescribed a fever treatment with a heat box. They also used to advise their patients to move to warmer climates.

Interesting... I think so!

Research is a wonderful thing!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Today it's nice and short...

November 11th is Remembrance Day.

Thank a Soldier!

Whatever the way you choose.. Go and thank them!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Life behind sunglasses

I'm still tired today.
So many times I've tried to put into words how it feels and I think I've got it!

Try this for me...
Next time the sun is out, look right at it. No cheating, take off your sunglasses and then quickly look at a white piece of paper with small writing on it.

You'll probably get a little bit disoriented, maybe dizzy, you'll have a hard time to focus and your eyes and head will hurt for a few minutes...Am I right? Now hold that feeling and remember it.

This is what it's like for me minus looking at the sun. You may have seen me wearing my sunglasses indoors or even when it's raining or just not nice out. You're thinking...she's weird!

Well I must admit, prescription sunglasses are very nice and at times I do forget to take them off but there are times when the darkness just feels better!

So there you behind sunglasses!

Monday, November 9, 2009


I am tired today.

Mark and Grace were sick all weekend and still are today.
They were up all night coughing too which means that no one got sleep.

I have managed to not get sick'm not sure!

However with the lack of sleep from 3 nights I am not starting to have a few MS symptoms pop up. The best way for me to get better is to get some sleep. So there I go.

Good night!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Don't move!

Have you ever been warned not to move...

I forgot to write about the chiro adjustment for the MS treatment last week.
My chiro is very gentle and always uses the "gun". I don't like being "manhandled" for an adjustment!

This time he had to use his hands and I was little bit nervous. He is after all working with the very first vertebrae in my spine! Do you know what could go wrong!

I was laying on my side and he was measuring me and adjusted what needed to be done. It was so fast and so painless that I thought to myself...this was definitely not worth it! Once he was done he looked at me and said "Don't move! I'll be back in a few minutes". So I didn't move! I figured there might be something else he had to adjust.

Well...Mark was in the room with me and we were talking about dinner plans for that evening and it hit me...I was so tired! I couldn't see straight, I couldn't remember what I had just said to Mark or that he was even in the room!

Turns out, this is a natural reaction if the adjustment was done properly. BONUS!

Just to give you a feel for this... When I got up off the bed I had to have Mark help me sit back down as I really did think I would fall asleep and well fall!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Kid in a candy store

We've all heard that expression right!
Well this was me yesterday at the Chiro's office and this was Dr. Kale too!

Like I mentioned yesterday, this new Blood / Brain barrier is a breakthrough research and has never been heard of in Canada and the US. Also, Dr. Kale having completed hid undergrad in Neuroscience was very exited to be involved in breakthrough information.

He did explain the research a little better then what I was able to grasp. Essentially the blood is pumped into the brain and in MS patients the brain is already slightly swollen due to the natural course of the disease. What then happens is the drainage is compromised due to the swelling. The blood cells are then "trapped" with nowhere to go. This is when they cross the barrier and enter the brain tissue also known as Myelin. the body's natural response is to send antibodies to the rescue! They attack the cells that are where they shouldn't be. And this explains why in MS the body is fighting it's own tissue.

Interesting Eh!

Dr. Kale has started his own research and is trying to get into contact with the doctor who initiated this study!

What we are hoping for is to see is a Venography can be performed in Canada and if I can be the first! Only seems right since I brought the whole thing to his attention!

Venography.. that's my next entry for you guys to read!

Thursday, November 5, 2009


Is it safe to have an epidural as an MS patient?

Some say yes and some say no.
The reasoning is that an epidural is meant to go to the brain and confuse the neurological impulses that react to pain. With MS patients, the last thing you want to do is "mess around" in there.

Some doctors swear that it is safe and this is because there isn't a concrete study proving else wise.

That being said, just because the small studies have yet to be recognised as True doesn't mean the data and findings are not valid.

Think about doesn't only apply to MS research!

I've been bad...

I realise it's been a little bit and so today I will overwhelm you with information!

I would like first to say that I personally do not think that the H1N1 should scare you. The media likes to makes things seem worse then they are simply because much like sex sell so does fear. Tune out all the media and trust your gut. Common sense will also help keep you healthy. After all...the bird flu didn't kill you neither did SARS...I know because...well you are here reading!

This afternoon I am going to visit my chiropractor. A few weeks ago he introduced me to a treatment that he has been performing on MS patients for a while and I am going to start these manipulations in hope of some positive results! The area of focus is the first vertebrae in your neck, the one that your skull rests on.

Like a mentioned last week, I've been busy doing research.
I doctor in Italy has had a very interesting study going for a few years. His study has shown and proven that the blood drainage from the brain is not happening properly in MS patients. Actually of the 78 tested they all had a blood drainage problem. He also tested over 240 regular people of the same ages and such. None of them had this problem.

Although his study is not yet recognised in Canada and the US he has treated many patients by placing a "Shunt" (a small plastic tube) from the brain that then drains to the kidneys. This has proven to help with relapses however after a few years the brain gets confused and the Shunt must then be removed a period of time to let the brain and body heal.

I have shared this study with my Chiro as his first field of study was neurology. Boy! did I luck out!
He was very interested and I am excited to see what he has to say today!
I'll keep you posted!

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Today, it's simple...
Everyone seems to focus on the negative things.
You know..those things that make your blood boil. Traffic, news cast,no gas at the pump again, that slow lady working the till at the grocery store...

Focus on the things that make you happy...after all...those are the things that will make you smile and help you live longer!

Things that make me happy...
I think of Grace, watching a movie with Mark, coming to work and loving what I do, pasta, The Middle...

What makes you happy?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Today and this past week I have been overwhelmed.
I have busy reading MS studies and different researches performed that are not commonly known yet or even acknowledged in Canada or the US.
I have always have done this and love to have knowledge on things that affect me.

Once you are diagnosed with a disease your wheels are always turning. You are always thinking of hypotheses of possible cures or causes. It's very strange but that's the way it is!

I have so much information to share with you that I really am not sure where to start!
Everything from brain / blood drainage, Chiropractic care proven to help MS patients, headaches, high iron deposits and on and on!

The easy one I think is what I'll post today!

I've mentioned before that I have lots of headaches and I tend to call them my Myelin headaches!

Shared Solutions is the company that distributes my injections as well as the goodies needed for self injections. Every month they send a pamphlet of new information on MS. This month it was titled "Do you have MS and suffer from headaches?" Oh.. me me me..(with my hand held up like a kid in a class room!)

I never realised this was connected. After all.. I only know me not other MS patients symptoms!

Turns out that many of us suffer from chronic headaches commonly known as migraines. The research shows that women are the ones most affected and it tends to be the women who have had symptoms at a very early age (prior to being diagnosed). Also it indicated that these women are the ones that have the most pain. I fit in this category very nicely!

It also indicated triggers that can cause the headaches. From memory I remember aged cheeses, possessed meats (hot dogs), weather changes and red wine. I had never paid attention to what might cause my headaches but red wine I knew.

I've tried red wines many times and one sip gives me an instant headache for hours or even days!

That's today's lesson.

Class dismissed!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Strange feeling

As if last week wasn't hard enough...
On Friday night we sat down to watch a movie. I took my injection and all was good...but then I felt really strange...

I was sitting down but couldn't focus. It was almost like my brain was talking o my body but it wasn't getting the message. I couldn't even swallow. This lasted for 20 minutes or so. I didn't like it one bit.

Our first weekend home with Grace after daycare isn't going too well. She has been in more of a bad mood then a good one since we picked her up on Friday. It makes it hard to enjoy the weekend and our time with her.

I've also been in pain again this weekend. Let's hope that gets better and that I'm ready to face the week ahead.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hard week

This past week has been a long and hard one.
I always get anxious if some or many symptoms start to surface. Call it paranoia or even superstitious but I get nervous so I don't write right away!

It all started last Saturday. I woke up feeling super tired. I was in more pain then I had been in over a month and I was just off.

I was also a little bit preoccupied as Grace was set to start at her Day Home on the Monday and I think the slight stress of it made me ill.

This week I was sure I was headed for a relapse.
I was dizzy, hot, couldn't concentrate, tired, severe headaches. My legs were a bit numb and I was getting electrical jolts down my legs.

Grace has now settled in at the Day Home for the most part and I've been able to get 2 whole nights sleep!

I can honestly say that I'm going into this weekend feeling much better and think that next week will be better!

Thursday, October 22, 2009


The questions was "How many ways can you be tested for MS?"

No one got it!
There are 4 ways to be tested.
- Spinal Tap
- Evoked response test
- Imaging of the central Nervous System

Let me think about the next question!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What is it?

No one attempted to guess!
That small little thing is like a nail clipper.

After my injection I use it to clip the needle from the syringe.
Like I mentioned, it's not necessary but it makes the bio hazard bin much safer.

An other many needles can it hold?

1500...yes sir! that is not a typo it can hold 1500 needles so I think the thing will dye before it hits 1500!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

This one's for Mitch

A few people have now asked me about the needles, the pain, the itch and other things too.

I love these questions because they give me thoughts on what to write about.

Believe it or not...some days I am at a lost as to what to write ;)

Mitch asked me last week how big the needles were and without thinking I agreed with his question.

"So how big are the needles anyway? Like 30cc's?"

I said yes and then he replied "wow that's pretty big!"

When I got home later that evening I was thinking about that conversation and realised that I had never actually checked what the dosage was!

So here goes!
The shot is nowhere near 30CC's! I take 1 ml of Copaxone daily!
It's very fact.. I decided to take a picture to show you!

In the picture there is the Autoject which I use for injection in my arms, tummy and sometimes legs. I chose to do manual injections in my love handles as well as my legs sometimes simply because i find the reaction less irritable. I placed my log pen beside everything to put things into perspective. Then the needle! Look how tiny!

Now the quiz for you today...What is the 4th item in the picture?
To answer you can log a comment!

Hint...It is not a necessity for the injection process but makes things safer if used.

Friday, October 16, 2009

being hot

Most of us don't like to over heat. For me I have always been too hot.
Most morning for as far back as I can remember I have been too hot.

After my shower I get dressed and then I am so hot I feel like I might just faint. In winters I have always left the house wearing only a thin shirt just to cool down. Today and all of this week that still happens!

I wonder if that's part of the MS heat!?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Workin' woman

So this is what it's like to be a working mom!
So far it's been good. I'm very busy at work so I am not dwelling on Grace being somewhere else and it makes the days go by super fast.

I have always enjoyed my work and didn't really remember how much I missed it until my first day back in my chair at my desk! Like I said...blisters!

Health wise I have been feeling very good!
Today I took the C-Train (public transit) to get to work. The brisk walk outside in the cold was great but by the time I have walked and stood in the train and walked to the office I get weak.
It was like that in summer too but it's better in winter because I am not sooooo bloody hot!

I've written about the electrical jolts down my legs when I place my chin on my chest (or look down) this is what happens after I've walked or even run a little bit!

Otherwise..all good!

Sunday, October 11, 2009


First off...Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope you have all spent time with family, stuffed yourselves silly and are now on the "nod" form the turkey!

By now I think we've all heard that one person in winter time say "I go tanning and feel way better!". I know I have been that person for many years!

I have been busy and forgetful the last few days. Unfortunately my Vitamin D3 is one of the things I've forgotten to take. To make things worst, it's been very cold so time outside is a quick run to the car and back! There hasn't been much sun either.

Today it started hitting me. I was tired, kinda blue and just "blah". I then remembered my oops!
We were at Donna's and I asked her for some vitamins...1 hour later...Ahh! Much much better!

So if you aren't sure about tanning and still feel you need some sun shine...Get yourself a bottle of Vitamin D3 and take 4 a day. It won;t hurt you. We are all deficient in most vitamins!

Friday, October 9, 2009

back at work

A whole week under my belt!
Well it's official..I'm back at work. Full force ahead!

I have enjoyed my return and am loving being busy!
It's a strange but rewarding feeling to leave the office and know I accomplished something other and changing to speak!

The first 2 days were hard. I was tired from both Grace not sleeping and getting back into a routine long forgotten as well as fighting severe heat! I was so HOT...

Day 3 & 4...WOW...
I didn't know I could get this much done in a day!
I also didn't know that we "as computer users" have a callus on our thumbs! Did you?
I had blisters by the end of day 3 from typing!

Thanks Gramma and Mark for taking care of my Miss Mouse!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Answer 5

This one was tricky! But I placed the answers in order of frequency of attack!

There are fours areas in the central nervous system that correlate with MS signs ans symptoms.

1 - Spinal cord at 42%
2 - Brain Stem and cerebellum at 38%
3 - Optic Nerve at 17%
4 - Cerebrum at 3%

I personally have had Spinal Cord attacks.
This is were I have numbness in my torso and limbs.

Brain Stem and Cerebellum too!
These lesion cause imbalance and dizziness.

Obviously I have the now known ON. This was when I lost my vision in the left eye and was then diagnosed.

For the last one...3% makes it rare.. let's pray it stays that way!
Some of the symptoms (I have never had these) are like those of a stroke.
There can me mental disturbances, slurred speech, weakness in the face and so on.

So let me think of the next question...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I know..

I know, I know.. I haven't written..Sorry!

I am back at work and of course busy!
I am doing well and adjusting is surprisingly easy!
I am fighting fatigue and severe "hot flashes" but otherwise doing well!

I promise to give you the answer to the most recent question and keep you posted soon!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Hi ho Hi ho...

It's off to work I go...

So today is bitter sweet for me. I am happy to go back to work and be good at what I am good at!

I also get to feel what Mark and all fathers out there feel every morning of that year mat. leave.

Our Day Home can't take Grace until the 17th so Mark has taken the day off to be with Grace and I get to leave them at home and head to work...this is hard!

Thanks Mark for being so good over the year on this one!

Let's see how we all do today!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Gracie's birthday!!!

I can't believe one year ago already!

One year ago I was very upset about having to have a C-section and miss out on the delivery of my first baby.

One year ago I was upset that Mark snuck out to get a burger at 4am!

One year ago I was thankful to have my best friend in that hospital room with me.

One year ago I held my baby girl for the first time!'s things change and go by so fast!

Today we have invited lots of friends to join us. We love to have people around on special days!
Grace will get to play with her friends, make a mess of cake and simply make us happy to see how far she's come in only one year!

Enjoy the little things today! That's what makes life worth living for!

Thursday, October 1, 2009


I went to bed frustrated last night and woke up still feeling the same way.
I woke up stiff and in lots of pain again. I was feeling pretty good and it's been a while with little or no pain. I almost got used to it!

Last night was for a different reason. You see I don't mind giving myself the injections but it's the aftermath that's been building my frustration.

The needle itself is quick and painless. Once the needle is out...that's when my mood changes.
I feel a sudden stinging pain. Sometimes I bleed and if I do I know that's yet another bruise to look forward to. Sometimes within 10 minutes of so I get the "mosquito bite" I referred to a few days back. It gets really swollen and hot and sometimes even painful. Then the ice pack sometimes does more damage then it should. I ice the area after the shot to help the pain subside.

Then of course a few days later I have bumps under my skin where the shots were injected. I get really itchy...bug bite scratch all day kind of itchy. In 7 spots! And the last one are just having sore spots all over.

So that's my bit of complaining for the day!

For the positive...Mark's off for 5 days. I love when he's home!
We'll get to spend time together before I go back to work and plan Gracie's birthday party!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Well last night was better!
Grace has been having temper tantrums...I think! So this makes getting to bed a little harder. It's also hard because she is always such a good baby...

Once she was out, she was out for the count! I got some sleep and my eyes are doing better. I am still tired but here's to hoping I'll get some sleep tonight too!

The injections are going as well as can be expected. I spoke to Shared Solutions (Copaxone company) yesterday and my symptoms are normal. It does aggravate me because I have "sore spots" all over. When I pick Grace up and she rest on my hip it hurts my "love handles". When she grabs my arms well that's tender too. So that it a little be annoying but I think the meds are doing what they are supposed to do so I guess the saying "No pain, no gain" is really true!

Today's is Chase's birthday so we will be going to visit and sing Happy Birthday!

Monday, September 28, 2009


It's now been 2 nights without sleep and I am tired.
I am anticipating going back to work. I kinda just want to be back at work and be in our new routine. Have it done and over know!

Grace is very sensitive to how I feel and she didn't sleep last night either. I think she somehow knows that big changes are coming.

Being this tired is not good for me. Neither is the anticipation!
The nerve and my right eye is very sore. Has been for the last 2 days. My left eye is weird too! When I look to the left and down it's like someone is flashing a red light in my eye. This has happened before and a good nights sleep tends to make it better.

Maybe tonight's the night!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

So busy

Wow...I've been so busy! Sorry it's been a while and today I only have a few minutes but I'll take it!

Grace has been sick with a cold and I haven't been getting much sleep but I am still doing better then I was most of the summer. I only have one week left before I return to work and I am getting anxious to get back and settle in to the new routine. Anticipation sucks!

The weather is starting to cool and it makes such a difference for me. Yesterday I went to the Scrap Fair and did lost of walking. I had Grace with me too. What a busy day! I then headed over to the DI and still had energy to go do some groceries! WOW!

I hear my baby callin'...'til next time!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Eye is better!

The good news I've been waiting for! Yesterday I had a follow up with Dr. Costello re: my vision.

She was very pleased to see the progress I've made and did tell me that it can take up to a year to get everything back to normal.

I am not longer colour blind in the left eye!!!

She also explained that ON (optical neuritis) is not likely to happen again however sometimes it does. The explanation for what happened goes like this.

Remember when I told you the damage that occurs in MS patients is in the Myelin and that it surrounds the nerves. Well what happens in ON is that the Myelin gets damaged and causes the "electrical short" that brings the information to my brain.

Having my vision back is obviously telling me that the Myelin was repaired. In the early stages of MS it can repair itself. Eventually what happens is the body gets older and then simply can't keep up with the demands of repair which then leads to more serious cases of MS. The Copaxone has been proven to lengthen a patients life and even help prevent the course of MS to worsen over time.

All clear with my left eye!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Answer 4

Well some of you were right and some of you were wrong!
The correct answer is yes!

There are actually races that have never had a confirmed case of MS and with that they are known as immune races.

The 4 races are the Eskimos, the Gypsies, the Yakuts in Siberia and the Bantu in Africa.

Good work you guys!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Spousal abuse!

Tell me, what couple doesn't have days were they would like to inflict pain on their spouse?
Well Mark finally got his chance last night...Giving me an injection that is!

He did good! So good that I didn't even feel the needle go in! Good job're hired for tonight again ;)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Not bad at all

The last two injections have gone well. Not too much pain, no bruising and no welts!
I have been feeling very good and little or no fatigue for the most part. I may finally see the end of this relapse...maybe!

With all the anxiety that I faced the few days prior to meeting with the nurse I really was starting to doubt my choice to start treatment. I am now almost a week with treatment and like I said, I am feeling almost normal again! I am back to trusting my gut and know that I chose the right DMT (Disease Modifying Treatment).

One thing that I have noticed the last 4 times after my injections has been a strange sensation up my spine, in my shoulders and the back of my skull. It takes about 1 hour. I feel absolutely normal and WHAM! I get this heavy, almost numb feeling going up my spine to my head. I guess that's the Copaxone's way of saying "to the rescue"!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Well I have given myself 3 injections to date and I feel pretty good.

Since this is a daily injection I have to rotate my injection area every day. 7 days...7 get it right!
With the nurse I got a love handle and other then the burning and "mosquito bite" it was easy!

Day 2, I decided to get my thigh. OWWWWWW
It literally brought tears to my eyes. It took about 30 minutes for the pain to go away and that was with an ice pack and trying to watch TV to focus on something else...It still hurt on day 3 so I decided to do my belly instead of the other side.. Can't wait for tonight to do that one.. Ha Ha..

Day 3 was last night and like I said I did the belly. Well that didn't go that well either!
I tried to poke and the stupid needle wouldn't go in.."Abs of steal ;)" so I had to pull it out and try again. Then it went in..with difficulty but at least it was in but that's not enough I had to bleed after..And today.. I have a bruise.

Let's hope this just needs practice!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Meeting the nurse

Today is another 2 for one day! What can I say, I've had lots to tell you!

As I mentioned yesterday, last night I met with the Copaxone nurse.

Yesterday was by far the worst day I have ever had. Thank you Mark for being there. It really helped. Donna, thanks for taking Grace, I was in no frame of mind to take care of her.

I have never cried that much in my life. I was very sleep deprived, nervous and scared. In a way the reality hit home yesterday. I was not in denial about having MS but having to succumb to an injection daily made it real and I, like anyone else, would prefer to be healthy and not have that worry.

After my meeting with Pam I felt much better and today so far is a great day.

For the first time in my life I have played with a loaded syringe and "had fun"! I gave myself the first injection last night in my "love handle". I thought putting it in would hurt but it didn't! The kicker was about 3 minutes later when it started to burn! OWCH! ICE PACK!

The burn last about 20 minutes and then you forget about it. I did have a reaction to the injection which is normal. My reaction is what looks like a mosquito bite. Pink and that "bite" bump. It didn't hurt but if I touched it, it got itchy.

All in all, it was easy and I am almost looking forward to tonight!

26 today

No I'm not talking about the weather! By the way, it's supposed to be 34C outside today so I'll be staying in my basement with the AC cranked!

Today I turned 26. Oh my how things can change in one year!
This time last year I was in love with my job and my husband. My only cares - other then being pregnant - were when and where are we going for lunch and well.. I think that was it!

Now a year later I am a mother and a wife. My worries now are what will we make for dinner, how will Grace react to daycare, I have MS and must remember to take my shots at bedtime. I must share my time in more ways then I ever imagined. I still love my life but it's just become more complex.

We all need to remember to make time for the important things in life. So today stop and give a hug to that special person, maybe help someone who needs a hand or even just sit and take a break for your own sanity!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Answer 3

The first reported case of MS was in 1835 by a gentleman named...Jean Cruveilhier!
Yup...he was French! Good work to those who guessed right!

He was a professor of pathological anatomy in the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Paris.
During routine autopsies he observed some "brown patches" in the nervous system and described them to the medical community.

This info I found in the book called Multiple Sclerosis by Shelley Ross. It's a great read if you are interested!

Must be Tuesday...

If you know me, you know that I loathe Tuesday. For me is it by far the worst day of the week. Always has been and has not yet changed!

This past weekend was a hard one. Not for my health but for Grace. Mark and I were at her mercy. She had "the runs". First time in almost a year that she has been ill. Yuck! She is better today but I didn't get much sleep last night.

The nurse from Copaxone finally called last night to come over and teach Mark and I how to do the injections and all the other things. She will be coming tonight. I was really looking forward to starting the meds but after sleeping on and off last night - with kicking Grace in bed with me - I am not so sure. I'm nervous and scared. Last time I felt like this it was the day I went to the hospital to get induced and that...other then Grace coming out... was not a good experience for me.

I am fine to look at today but if I so much as think about MS or the fact that I couldn't function enough that I asked for help with Grace for the day I can't help but cry. I've felt really good the last 4 days with no symptoms but today I am stiff and sore. I have a great headache and am dizzy.

We'll see what tomorrow brings... I will have had my first injection and hopefully I will get some rest not to mention I'll be another day older. (Officially on paper that is!)

Friday, September 11, 2009

A day from H...

With only a few weeks left of mat. leave I have been trying to make an effort and go out as much as possible.
Have you ever heard the saying "Even the best laid plans...". Well that's my last 2 days!

Yesterday I was ready to go and Grace decided it was a "nap" day. I tried to put her down and I wasn't getting anywhere. Finally she fell a sleep only to wake up a few minutes later thinking she slept for hours. CRANKY...We didn't go anywhere.

Today is another story. I was not ready but when I started getting ready it seemed everything was working against me. I did not get a great nights rest so I am feeling a little bit fatigued. To top it off Grace isn't feeling super. She did #1 on my floor, spilled food all over the place, I needed to get bottles ready for the road but needed to do the dishes first.. you see where I'm going here!

The good news... YES there is good news here! that the box from Copaxone/Shared Solution finally arrived. Wow.. there is so much stuff! I got a back pack, a USB stick, key chain (Which I was in desperate need of..Grace lost my keys and ring..) along with lots of other stuff related to my injections. I also got information from my HR concerning what my options are if I am not well and must go on leave or take time off from work.

All in all I am sure the day will get better!
I am off to sneak a bite to eat before my monster wakes up!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Am I decide

Well today is a big day for me. Mark too!
We are thinking Christmas all day! read that right!
We are off to have our first Christmas Wishlist meeting.

So... Am I crazy?

Here's the deal. Every year we interview the homeless from the DI and post their small story and 1 item that they would like to receive for X-mas on the web. We then send out an invite to the general population asking them to sponsor someone. We have been doing this for...Well...This will be #4! We love it and it is now our X-mas tradition. Soon Grace will be old enough to join us!

So for the last week we have been getting ready for it! Posters, check lists, name it! And believe it or not, it's gotten so big and so well known that Mark has been getting request to help since mid-August! Good work you guys! Keep it going! I still crazy?!?!

This morning again it's cool in the house. I love it and my MS is still at bay. Like every year at this time and RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) is acting up but that I can live with!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

It's cold!

Hey! It's cold and I like it! I have NO SYMPTOMS today!
I love the cold so much so that I am packing Grace up and we are going out. Again! Second day in a row!
I'm starting to think that I should have been off for the winter and not the summer!

I am still waiting for my parcel to call the nurse.
I've been told that the parcel includes a lock box with a 1 key for the fridge so when you guys come over to visit you can't steel my needles...Hmm.. it seemed strange to me too but at least it will keep them away from Gracie pooh!
It also has a traveling case and an ice pack. A DVD... and other things that I am curious to see!

What I am looking forward to is the book that comes along with it all. It is to track the symptoms and dates and times that certain things happen. This will be very useful because every doctor visit these are the first questions:

How are you feeling today?
What symptoms have you had lately?
Oh that's nice what day was that?
And for how long?
Was it the day on at night?
And did you take any medications that day?

See where I'm going!

Well...I'm off to pack and get out!
Write soon!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

A good night sleep

Last night was a good nights sleep! What amazing things come out of that!
I have had more energy today then I have had in weeks.

I've already managed to clean, make breakfast and contemplate going out...Now if only Grace would nap so I could shower...

My MS symptoms are pretty good today. Other then being in pain getting out of bed I am feeling very good!

So we are now at 6:30 pm and well Grace finally had a nap. Problem did I!
We got dressed and headed out anyway. Getting out keep me sane!

Tomorrow I am expecting a parcel from Shared Solutions. This will have everything I need to get my injections started. Once I get that I am to call the nurse and have her come to the house and meet us. Let's see if it comes!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Random thoughts

I can honestly say I did not sleep a wink last night. I have no idea why.
Did you get any sleep?

Even Mark and Grace couldn't sleep. So what to do at a time like that?
Think...Think stupid things...Silly things...Weird things...

So here's what I thought of:
Why are my neighbours constantly doing construction at night?
Are they building something no one should know about...We watched War of the Worlds before bed!
I wonder if Grace has a tooth coming?
The park was fun today, we should do that more often.
Will I ever find a pain killer that will work for me?
What will we do tomorrow?
Hmmm.. that scrapbook page is missing something.
And always...MS...
When will the nurse come?
Will I have a reaction to the shot?
Will I be OK going back to work.
What does Mark really think about it...

So there you go.. what are you thinking about lately!
Off to the docs to find new pain meds!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Answer 2

And the winners are...
Life expectancy without meds are reduced to that of a 2 pack a day smoker!

Congrats to those who got it and I'll post a new question later!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Alot to swallow...poke

I was one of those kids that became a teen and still couldn't swallow any pills. Much to the frustration of my mom I finally swallowed a Smartie and was told..."If you can swallow that you can swallow your pills!". And oddly enough that was the end of it!

I still dislike it and that may be the reason I tend to avoid taking anything.

Life changes and now I feel like an old person or a Aids patient. You know, they have those cocktails of pills that they must take...

Hear me out..
In the morning if I am really in pain I take:
- 2 pain killers
With my breakfast:
- 4 Vitamin D3
At bed time:
-1 or 2 muscle relaxant (for the muscle spasticity)
-1 birth control pill
-1 dose of Phosphorous (homeopathy)
-1 dose of MS remedy (homeopathy)

And to top it all off...soon I can add the injection of Copaxone.

Like I said...a whole lot to swallow and then a poke to end the day!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

1 month to go...

It's been a few busy days but I'm back!
Thank you for the know who you are and they are beautiful!

I've had more testing done on my eyes and they are getting better! I've also met with Dr. Costello at the MS Clinic. I love her! The ball has been put in motion and within a few days I should have the nurse visit our house and show me how to use the Autoject! I also met a new nurse at the clinic. Her name is Lori and she is fantastic!

So, Grace will be 11 months in a few days and that means I have 1 month before my return to work. Lots of women have left work for a year of mat. leave. Most of them return a slightly different person because they are now a mother but not many return being an entirely different person. I say this because I am not only now a mother but my entire life has changed. I don't even know what every tomorrow may have in store for me.

I am excited, happy, worried and nervous just to name a few!
I have always taken pride in my work. I love it and have always committed to it 110%.

Excitement comes from finally heading back to work. Work is such a big part of all of our lives. We are after all at work more then we are at home with our families if you don't count sleep!

Happy comes from having regular adult conversations again. Seeing faces that I've missed over the past year. Doing what i am good at and and love to do!

Worried. Well that one is a little bit confusing! I am worried about leaving Grace in someone else hand. She will still be my daughter but someone else will be "raising" her. You know what I mean don't you? I am also worried because I do not know if I will be able to function at work. I have worked long and hard and my peers know that I am good at what I do. They have come to know that they can depend on me and trust my judgement. So the worry comes from knowing that some days they may not be able to depend on me. I am scared that I am not able to work like I used to.

Nervous is also aimed at Grace and leaving her behind. I am nervous to see what I am coming back to on my desk. I am nervous that I've lost what I had and that I will have to work real hard to get back to the knowledge base I used to have.

We all change and I am no different. I simply became a very different person this past year. I am no longer the free spirit I was. I now have even bigger responsibilities then I thought I would come back with. I must learn to take everyday on at a time. I must learn to trust my instinct and listen to what my body is telling me. Luckily I am coming back to a great team of people who care for me and I trust will understand my situation.

I guess I can now begin the countdown...

Monday, August 31, 2009

Worst day yet

Yesterday was a very bad MS day in my books. Let me tell you about it.

I woke up from a solid nights sleep and thinking, this should be a good day. Nice uninterrupted sleep. Ah....Then I crawled out of bed...Oh no.. this might not be good...

I was dizzy most of the day. When I'm dizzy it's not like the room is spinning, it's more like I was just shaken and I'm trying to steady myself. We had a brunch date at 11:30 so Mark took care of Grace while I made her lunch, bottles, got showered blah blah blah...By the time Mark went to shower I was wiped. I typically have a sit down and start feeling better. And I was looking forward to the car ride because of the AC. Little did I know this would end up being my life saver later!

At our brunch, it was busy, lots of people talking and visiting. I always have a wondering eye too, even with family when it comes to Grace. This takes energy! She has energy! It was warm in the house and outside was warming up very quickly as well.

After I ate I was really feeling drained. I sat down for a rest but I was just not getting better. I finally grabbed Grace, sat down to change her diaper and told Mark that it was time to go. Poor Mark. You see he was talking with his mom and I trying to make plans for today. I could only focus on one thing at a time and I looked at him and said "Honestly Mark, I don't give a S*** about that right now. I can't think straight." I'm sorry hun. Then I started to cry. I was hot and flustered. I felt bad and embarrassed. Grace was squirming. People were all over and wanting my attention. I broke down and think I had a panic attack.

Once in the car, Mark pumped the AC as high as it would go and we left. It took me a good 30 minutes to calm down. Wow.. didn't like that at all.

To make matters worst, later I sat Grace on the potty and I just couldn't cope again. I called for Mark but he didn't hear me that time. Again with the tears and hyper ventilating. For those of you who know me...I don't tend to cry so I wasn't liking the crying on top of being a mess. Grace snuggled me and tried to make me feel better. I love her! Again, it took a good 30 minutes to get steady again.

I never want a day like that again.

Now I'm getting ready to go to the hospital for my eye checkup..I'll write tomorrow!

Sunday, August 30, 2009


Ever wonder why there are so many services offered in a hospital but you have to go to different hospitals for certain things?

I think they should make the mother of all hospitals and have everything in one place.
Why do I feel this way? Let me tell you!

On Monday I will be going to the Rockyview hospital which is about 40 minutes away during rush hour. At it will be rush hour... Here I will be seeing Dr. Costello who is my optical neurologist. I will be doing follow up testing on my vision in my left eye.

On Tuesday I must go to the Foothills hospital which takes 20 minutes to get there. (This is in a car by the way, sometimes I may need to do this by transit) This is where the MS Clinic is located. Here I will meet again with Dr. Costello. This time it will be to discuss only my MS. I will be getting my prescription of Copaxone and tell her my history, all my past and present symptoms. I presume she will ask if I would be in a research study again but on this I am not sure!

Now you understand my "All in one hospital" theory!

Thanks Ron & Mark for taking me and Donna for watching Grace!
I'll keep you posted!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Skipping my remedy

Last night I called Donna who is my mother in law as well as my homeopath.
Over the last few weeks I have been seeing red spots in my left eye. This is the eye that previously went blind. For this symptom I have been taking Phosphorous as well as my MS remedy.

For the past month I have had many pregnancy symptoms. Don't panic! After several urine tests as well as a blood test I am not pregnant.

My thought process was that with MS when pregnant all symptoms often go away for the duration of the pregnancy. In homeopathy you are treated by symptoms. Certain remedies are for certain things depending on the way you feel. So naturally I started thinking that the MS remedy could be making me feel this way in efforts to put an end to the MS symptoms. We decided to stop the MS remedy last night and see what happened.

Well...let me tell you. That was a mistake!
This morning I woke up very tired, I was up in the middle of the night in pain, I am dizzy and pretty much "zoned out".

In homeopathy this is called a prooving. This indicated that the remedy is working and the right one for me at this time.I now know for sure that the MS remedy taken nightly is helping me more then I realised!

Tonight I will be taking both remedies and see how tomorrow goes!

And the answer is...

I will try to post a little quiz every week because I think they are fun!

The answer for this week is 50%.

Without treatment the chances of needing walking assistance in the next 20 years is half and half! Pick your odds right!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Melt my heart!

Happy thought today OK!
Think about what warms your heart. What give you that warm and fuzzy feeling?

When things go quiet in my house I know it's one of two things. Either Grace is up to no good or sneaking a poop in her diaper. I say sneaking because 75% of the time she goes in the toilet.
So I'm in her room putting clothes away and 'Hmmm, it goes quiet'. I go on the hunt for Miss Mouse and guess what! I find her in a corner snuggling with Mommacat, giving her kisses and petting her. Awwww.. so sweet!

Other things that warm my heart...

Today would have been my grandmothers 73rd birthday.
Today is Sophie's birthday and she just gave birth to a big baby boy named Keyan! Good work and congrats!

And last but not least.. Fireworks tonight!

One more thing...look at that ticker fly...300+! Thanks you guys and gals!

Cruisin' for a cause

I realise I should have posted this along time ago but here goes!

Today (August 27th) is Cruisin` for a cause day.
Head over to A&W and buy a teen burger!

$1 of every purchase goes to help end MS!

Thanks all!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Busy day

Yesterday was a spur of the moment kind of day!
I woke up feeling pretty good and Grace was still sleeping. Any parent knows this is the prime opportunity to jump in the shower quickly! So I did.

There I was at 8AM, showered, dressed and still waiting for Grace to get up. Hmmmmm what to do? LAUNDRY...what else! It's the story of my life!

At noon I decided to see if my office was busy and went down for a visit. It was not too hot out yesterday but still...the walking, the bus and train rides, stairs and ramps, pushing a stroller... Not to mention packing the stroller and Grace and myself! This seems easy but during a relapse it doesn't take much to wear me out! I was tired before I left the house!

On the C-train I was getting close to passing out. I was so happy to make it to the office and SIT DOWN! It was great to see the few I seen and it was great to have Mark come and get me at the office in the middle of rush hour and road construction. I love you!

As if that wasn't enough excitement we stopped for groceries, rushed home unpacked, had a bite to eat and pack up for the Fireworks.

At 11PM I had enough! We watched Hell's Kitchen, relaxed and went to bed!

I think spur of the moment days are fun but definitely a once in a while kind of thing!

Monday, August 24, 2009

MS Fatigue

What is MS Fatigue?
Well I think it probably is very different for every patient. For me personally it's like being stuck under a load of wet cement... I think! I mean..when is the last time that happened!

I had a great weekend with Mark and Grace! We were a very busy little family running errands, seeing Fireworks, going to visit people, stopping at the park and "just keep driving" because Grace finally fell a sleep!

When Sunday rolled around we woke up had breakfast and WHAM! Fatigue hit. I can barely function. I hate it. Noise aggravates me, lights, moving...just everything. I get very cranky and I don't even realise why until I realise I'm tired. I laid down for a nap and think I slept but I can't really be sure. I never bothered to look at the clock!
When I finally talked myself into getting up I had the worst pains in my head and they are always there when I am tired. I broke down and had my first Alertec pill. They are supposed to give be a bit of energy...I never seen it!

As for the headache well it was like someone was pushing my eyeballs into my head, someone pushing in the soft spot below my skull in the back of my head and like I was carrying a very heavy load of bricks on my shoulders...Fun stuff.

The odd thing about feeling this way is the whole "get as much natural sunlight and vitamin D as possible". We went outside and I started feeling better. It took a few hours but I got better and then was able to go to the Fireworks night 2. Mexico was way better then Canada!

If you are in Calgary, you should come see then with us! There are still 3 night left!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Tomorrow is today

Well tomorrow is now today and I feel better then expected but I did get to sleep until almost 9am!

District 9 was good but you have to see it. It's just one of those movies! Something interesting however is I can no longer run. I say this because I almost passed out at the theater. Seconds before the movie started I knew it was going to be 2 hours before I could go pee and well we've all been there! You get the big popcorn, the big pop and then you patienly wait for the movie to end...I decided to run to the bathroom, pee and run back. I was so dizzy by the time I came back that I could barely go up the stairs to my seat. When I did make it my legs were trembling and shaking for a good 30 minutes and I had to hold on to my seat to not "fall off" from the dizziness. Pretty strange!

The Fireworks were great and I can't wait until Day 2 and 3 get my point! I am happy to endure the walk for the love of Fireworks!

The walk to the fireworks wasn't too bad. It was still hot so we had to take it slow. Like I've said before, the heat really makes me feel wilted. My feet feel like they are swollen and then they get numb. By the time we made our way up the hill Miss Grace decided she was on the move. So I sit to take a rest and then she's up and taking off to be a ham and get attention from who ever will look at her! She died down just before the show started and passed right out for the whole show!

By the time we made it back to the car I was really feelin' it.
There is a symptom called Lhermitte named after a French neurologist. This one is also hard to describe. If I look down (putting my chin to my chest) I get a bolt of electricity that goes down my legs to my feet. It only last 2-5 seconds but it throws me off balance. I really try hard not to move my head when this symptom creeps up on me. If I'm sitting down it actually feels kinda neat but I don't like to feel it because I know what is causing it! With a good nights rest I woke up much better but usually this one stays for a few days.

Today we are off to the park with Grace and to enjoy what's left of summer. Go out and enjoy it too! Soon we'll all be saying "Man, summer just flew by this year. AGAIN!"

Friday, August 21, 2009

Autoject 2

Today I am also feeling generous! You are going to get 2 for the price of 1. And...If I do say so myself...the price for one was quite the "Deal"!

I decided to call Sharedsollutions. They are the company that carried the Autoject 2. This little instrument is something that will make my life easier! All I will need to do is load the pre-loaded syringe into it and press the button. Voila I have been injected!

Like you I am learning so much everyday. This is no different today.

They explained that I couldn't simply request the Autoject 2. I was explained this...

Next week when I meet with Dr. Costello she will fill out my prescription. When she does this she will also fill in a form that will be sent to Sharedsolutions. The next day they will call me and set up a time for their nurse to come for a home visit. This nurse will teach me (Mark too) how to administer an injection. She will also bring the Autoject 2 if I request it. There is also some kind of package that includes a book to keep track of my symptoms.

Wow... the things you learn from one phone call!
So with this...I'll keep you posted!

Thank you

Today I am feeling a little bit tired. I have finally been getting sleep at night thanks to Grace! But today it's MS fatigue. I think I could watch paint dry and enjoy it!

Over the past few weeks I have really enjoyed keeping up with my Blog. I have also been getting lots of feedback. It's encouraging to know that you are reading and enjoying it too!

Now for my award winning "Thank You" speech!

I do owe Greg a big THANK YOU for making the suggestion to start a blog. I really wasn't too excited about it at first but I am seeing how it has helped you understand what I am going through as well as for me to come to terms with MS!

I want to thank Grace again for sleeping the last 3 nights!

And Mark for are the best!

And I want to thank everyone else for reading, leaving comments and the feedback. If there is something that you would like to read...let me know!

OK.. enough sap!

Today is Friday, I get the afternoon off on Fridays because Grace visits with Grandma and Grandpa. (Thank you!). This means Mark and I get to have a date. We are going to see District 9. Everyone has told us to go! Then we are going to pick up Grace to pack her up again and head to the Fireworks night 1. This is a lot of activity for me in one afternoon and I must admit I am a little bit worried if I'll last. We'll see how I am feeling tomorrow!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

My new best friends!

Well you know it's gonna be a hot one when you roll out of bed in the morning, you sit to eat breakfast at 9:30 and the AC kicks on!

So we decided to stay home which was good because I am having a "myelin headache". No such thing exists but when I get these headaches...that's what I call them!

Mark just called me and warned my that tomorrow is going to be even hotter...Time to look for a time share in the North Pole!

Now for my new best friends!
Next week I am to visit the MS clinic and get my Copaxone prescription so I decided to stop by my pharmacy and get some info. Just to have my "ducks in a row" as "They" say.

I never put much thought into getting my prescription but here is what I walked away with...

- 1 shot a day
- 1 prescription is for 30 pre-loaded needles
- I can get an auto-injector
- I will need to buy alcohol swabs
- I will need a bio-hazard bin
- All shots must be kept cold (in the fridge) until time to use them
- They must be at room temperature for injection
- 1 box of 30 needles cost approx $1500.00 (That's for only 1 month)
- Copaxone is the most commonly used MS drug at my local pharmacy

I think that's it but as you can see... I left a little bit overwhelmed!

I am a little bit nervous about giving myself a shot a day but then again I wasn't comfortable with the MS news or the symptoms either. It's the kind of thing that you really do take one day at a time. Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Well this morning was a first for me.

I've heard that there is some pain in MS. I've even had a few morning where I hurt a little. But this morning... WOW.
I woke up and kept thinking I was dreaming. I was in so much pain that it had to be a dream. I think it took me about 15 minutes to be able to move a little bit and then a bit longer to tell answer Mark when he said "Do you want something for the pain?".

My fingers hurt along with everything else. I'm still trying to figure out how to explain it.

Let me think about it some and I'll fill you in!
On the positive side, I slept right thought the night!

Other then waking up, today I have lots of energy and so far have had a busy morning playing with Grace and cleaning!
Short but to the point this morning!

Saturday, August 15, 2009


I have been asked many times to describe what the numbness in my legs feel like.

I have also been told that you hate to ask of feel uncomfortable doing so. My answer to that is "by all means, else will you know!"

The numbness is my legs and feet is diffrent every day.

Some days - I thought I was going into remision - only a few toes feel numb other days I can be numb all the way up to my rib cage.

The only way I can describe for you to understand is to give examples so here they are!

With my feet the feeling is like walking on a small chunk of snow when you come in the house in winter. You take your boots off get the snow off and take a step. You know you just walked on snow but your sock isn't wet yet. You feel that lump and move your foot. Well for me I have that feeling all the time (for the most part) just before the sock gets wet. My feet are numb, I can feel them, they just feel funny. If I walk on somehting it feels like that snow!

I am more clumbsy then I used to be and this is mostly because my legs are numb and I loose balance a bit.

With my legs it varies again just like any symptoms of MS. A month ago my legs where so numb that I couldn't feel touch. I could walk fine but I did not want to be touched. I could see Grace climbing up my legs or Mark resting his hand on my lap in the car but couldn't feel it. To me this was very disturbing!

I dread winter a little bit too. The few days this summer that it's been colder I've worn pants. They make my legs tingle. The same for shoes. I have trried wearing closed shoes but they make me ache and they feel so strange. I love my flips right now. I need a wall to put them on because my toes aren't feeling where the thong is but otherwise they do not touch me!!!

Being numb like that makes your balance a little bit funny because you think you are walking straight or that you can walk on that towel on the floor and stay upright but since your feet aren't able to sense if they are flat on the ground or not you kind of go off kilter!

So there you have it! Numbness 101!

Friday, August 14, 2009


When diagnosed with MS the first few things you are told before you are seen at the MS clinic are get lots of vitamin D and natural sunlight but stay cool.

Have you ever tried to sit in the sun but make sure you are nice and cold?

If you have and succeeded, please share!

The first thought that comes to mind is finding a lake in Banff, hope the sun is still out when we get out there and sit in it! But then there is the small hypothermia problem!

The reason for staying cool is easy. When the body is cool the swelling stays at a minimum. The swelling causes aggravation and can speed the myelin destruction.

The myelin is essentially the problem in MS.
Take any electrical cord and imagine it is one of your nerves. Like your nerves, it has a protective coat (myelin) which would be the plastic on the outside or the electrical cord. When the plastic is damaged should you touch the actual electrical cord inside you would get a shock. You may also see the appliance falter.

This is what happens for me. When the myelin is attacked it disappears and then the nerves are exposed which then causes "short circuits" in my body. These can happen anywhere and any time. This is what causes lesions on the brain and cervical spine. Once a lesion appears there is a big chance you start having "short circuits"otherwise known as attacks or going into a relapse.

Some people live their whole lives not knowing they have MS and if an autopsy is performed when they die then lesions can be discovered.

All this today to say that it may be cold and raining outside but it just so happens to be perfect for me!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Making the call

Making decisions is never easy and that is something we all know and share.
Weather it's what to make for dinner or life insurance they are never fun and almost never easy.

Making the decision to get married was a 7 of 10.

Having a baby was a no brainer. Daycare is 9 of 10.

Choosing to take meds for MS is a 10 of 10 for me.

Now I have to chose which one I find will be the best fit for me.
Not only does it boil down to taking a medicine but the meds are all given via injections. Daily.
They aren't all like that. I am choosing Copaxone for a simple reason.

At the very beginning of my journey many people told me that MS is a self discovery disease. I was told I will now have to learn to listen to my body, get to know myself better then ever before and to make decision based on my gut instinct.

You may think my reasoning is nuts but here goes it.
A few Monday's ago when I had my complete breakdown I had not yet started research on what meds I wanted to take. My nurse had told me of the 4 choices but I left it at that. I really couldn't have told you the names of them if you asked me!

I laid down that afternoon and had a nap. When I woke up all I could think of was Copaxone. At first I couldn't figure out what the word was or why I was thinking about it. I got a drink of water and then I seen the pamphlet.

Aha...I guess that's the one for me!

It's 8:30 am, Grace has just woken up and I am getting ready to make my call!

Thank you Richard for your comment, great minds think alike!

Comfort and relaxing

Today my question for you is to think about what comforts you. What helps you relax?
Is it curling up on the couch to watch a movie? Is it taking a nice bath? or a hot shower? Maybe it's taking a nap or going for a walk?

This is one of the few things I struggle with as a patient.

I love nothing more then waking up in the morning and having a nice long hot shower.
Imagine one morning you can enjoy something so easy and the next day a cold shower feel like scalding hot water. For me the hotter the water (and I mean lukewarm) the worst I feel. A shower now makes me feel like a wilted flower. No energy. My feet and legs get all tingly and I get dizzy.

I' ve also always loved my sleep. I no longer enjoy that either.
One of the most common symptom of MS is numbness in the legs, arms, hands and feet. I have it in my feet and legs.
My legs and feet are numb when I climb into bed and then they get restless. Restless leads to uncomfortable which then leads to the flopping fish! No rest and no sleep.

A restless night also leads to pain in my legs and feet which isn't fun getting up to! Typically a hot shower makes stiff muscles feel better...Can you see the catch 22?

Rest and sleep is the most important thing a patient. The fatigue attached to MS is very difficult to explain. It's kinda like you are awake but sleeping. Or maybe a picture on a wall. You are there, you hear but can't even respond because it takes too much effort. A very strange feeling!

Add a teething baby who likes to be up from midnight to 3 am and you get a very run down mother!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The next Big Question

Now that you know how I found out about MS I can tell you about it.
I'll do this slowly over time as there is so much to tell and I am also still learning.

This week I was supposed to go the the MS Clinic and learn how to give myself daily shots in many diff rent places however I believe I am going into remission. This is a very good thing!!!
Even if you are symptom free with MS you should still be seeking treatment in whatever form you feel best for you.

I have been seeing a Homeopath (Donna Powers) for many years now. She is also my mother-in-law!
Past treatments for eczema and other things has proven successful for me so we decided to try the MS remedy.
Like most treatments you get worst before you get better and I am very sensitive to treatments.
I took my first dose in June when the doctors confirmed I had MS and then got worst! I stopped the treatment. 2 weeks ago I decided to try again and once again had a very very bad day.

What is a bad day?
Well for me they are all different. This particular day I was extremely fatigued, nauseous, dizzy. I could barely feel my legs all the way up to my rib cage. I couldn't take care of Grace which made it all that much worst for me. I finally broke down and asked for help. I find this very hard on a regular day.
Donna came over and picked up Gracie.
We had a quick chat about how I had just started the remedy again and this could be the cause of the bad day. I decided to stick with it.

We are now 2 weeks later. I am feeling much better. I have had a few new symptoms related to my ON (Optical neuritis) but everything is getting better!

The next big question on my journey...
Do I get the Copaxone or stay with only Homeopathic care?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

June 19th 2009 - The verdict

A quick visit to my family doctor early Friday morning revealed what I already knew.

Doctor - "What do you think"
Nat - "It's MS right"
Doctor - "You're so young, I would have never thought this was going to happen to you"
(We are pretty close to our doctor)
Nat - "That fine, what now? What are the chances I gave this to Grace?"

And on it went...

With this said, I am a very lucky person.
You're thinking I'm crazy right... she's told she has MS and this is luck...

Well most people with MS have to wait months or even years to hear the diagnosis.
No diagnosis = no treatment

16 days -that's all it took for me!

June 5th 2009

Have you ever woken up one morning and found that you couldn't see out of one eye?
I have and that is were my MS journey began.

Like most people stress and fatigue is not a good thing to have in your life.

The month of May for me was very busy and stressful. In June my stress levels hit an all time high. When I lost my left eye sight family told me that I should get it looked at. It was a Friday and I kept saying "Oh it's nothing" and "I'll be fine".
Monday rolled along and I was still in darkness so I called the eye doctor who told me to come in the next day. Doctor's not worried...neither am I!

On Tuesday, the doctor said all looked fine and that I needed to see a specialist. I was also explained that I could have simple swelling of the Optical Nerve, early signs of MS or tumours behind the eye. Guess what I'm thinking now!

By the end of the week I had seen the specialist(#2). She asked me all kinds of questions that would have sounded strange to most people. For those who know me very well, you know that by this point I've read up on all I could find about MS. Not the other 2 because for 1, I was pretty much convinced I had MS and 2, I did not want to have tumours. She ended our visit by sating "I am going to send you for am MRI and refer you to another specialist".

I fell apart walking out of that office.
Wait time for an MRI is 3 months to get booked in then could be another 3 months to have it done.

In steps a savior that I really didn't think was necessary at the time.
I private MRI? What is that...
You call, you book, you get it done. That easy!!
Oh.. there is a cost attached to this speedy process and thank you for covering the cost. I owe you.

With in 1 week of seeing doctor #1 I have had an MRI and am off to my family doctor for the verdict.