1 month to go...

It's been a few busy days but I'm back!
Thank you for the flowers...you know who you are and they are beautiful!

I've had more testing done on my eyes and they are getting better! I've also met with Dr. Costello at the MS Clinic. I love her! The ball has been put in motion and within a few days I should have the nurse visit our house and show me how to use the Autoject! I also met a new nurse at the clinic. Her name is Lori and she is fantastic!

So, Grace will be 11 months in a few days and that means I have 1 month before my return to work. Lots of women have left work for a year of mat. leave. Most of them return a slightly different person because they are now a mother but not many return being an entirely different person. I say this because I am not only now a mother but my entire life has changed. I don't even know what every tomorrow may have in store for me.

I am excited, happy, worried and nervous just to name a few!
I have always taken pride in my work. I love it and have always committed to it 110%.

Excitement comes from finally heading back to work. Work is such a big part of all of our lives. We are after all at work more then we are at home with our families if you don't count sleep!

Happy comes from having regular adult conversations again. Seeing faces that I've missed over the past year. Doing what i am good at and and love to do!

Worried. Well that one is a little bit confusing! I am worried about leaving Grace in someone else hand. She will still be my daughter but someone else will be "raising" her. You know what I mean don't you? I am also worried because I do not know if I will be able to function at work. I have worked long and hard and my peers know that I am good at what I do. They have come to know that they can depend on me and trust my judgement. So the worry comes from knowing that some days they may not be able to depend on me. I am scared that I am not able to work like I used to.

Nervous is also aimed at Grace and leaving her behind. I am nervous to see what I am coming back to on my desk. I am nervous that I've lost what I had and that I will have to work real hard to get back to the knowledge base I used to have.

We all change and I am no different. I simply became a very different person this past year. I am no longer the free spirit I was. I now have even bigger responsibilities then I thought I would come back with. I must learn to take everyday on at a time. I must learn to trust my instinct and listen to what my body is telling me. Luckily I am coming back to a great team of people who care for me and I trust will understand my situation.

I guess I can now begin the countdown...